Dude, there’s nothing like making a fool of yourself on campus at your husband’s work. File under things I am positive he didn’t plan for. (As in the virtual office back in Pennsylvania is gonna look mighty fine after he reads this.)
Let me preface this story with full disclosure: I have never been graceful / I have always been a klutz. One of my best tricks is falling UP the steps. Oh, and there was the time when we were playing tag out front, I tripped and ROLLED head first down my neighbor’s front lawn all the way to the curb. I was probably 13 – so this was mortifying on a number of levels – but mostly because I was already awkward because, well, I was 13 and I was playing tag. Falling into the toilet because my brother left the seat up (age 13 was not my year). Inline skating with Kenny, hitting a rock, flying in the air while he yelled “Ohhh!” and then “OHHHHH!” when I landed on the ground (while we were dating. It’s a wonder he still wanted to marry me.) Falling down the steps in Jenkintown and tearing my meniscus / crutches for two weeks. Falling down the steps in Jenkintown AGAIN and bruising my back something fierce. The list goes on and on and on.
Well, today I took it to a whole ‘nother level. I fell into a trash can as I was walking into the building to drop the kids off at school. Like literally fell into it, caught it with my arms, kind of hugged it and balanced (as best as my klutzy self could) so it and I did not tumble to the ground. All the while, making sure I had my kids in sight. Oh yes. This happened in front of other parents and kids (some in my kids’ class), the security guard and the desk lady. On campus at my husband’s work. Legendary. I am pretty sure everyone who saw this was psyched for lunch so they could tell their friends. It was that good. I thank them all for holding back their laughter in my presence (although I really deserved it and was cracking up myself.)