Aug 24, 2013 | moving across the country...in stories
One of the post-move things that will always rip my heart out is watching my kids say goodbye to their extended family after spending time with them.
Ugh.
Goodbyes are not fun.
At all.
They weren’t fun when we first left to move here, and they still aren’t fun about two years in.
Grace is a hot mess. She is very, very good about giving everyone hugs and kisses and wishing them well, but she eventually runs over to me and buries her head in my neck. And sobs. And sobs. And sobs. Which then makes me cry (I hate to cry!). I am pretty sure her utter sadness also makes Kenny fill up with tears. She is that heartbroken. Every time.
Gavin keeps his cool when the actual goodbye-ing is happening, but will later do what I can only categorize as “guy feelings things” like ask me for extra long hugs, randomly reach over and grab my hand, or ask me if I miss gram, pop, this uncle, that aunt, and so on. I love that guy. It’s going to be interesting to see how he matures and handles things. Sometimes – like when saying goodbyes – he seems to be able to control his emotions well. And others – like when things go off plan – he goes absolutely off his rocker. Haha.
A few things I have realized:
1) I feel terribly guilty that my kids don’t get to spend nearly enough time with their grandparents, aunts and uncles and cousins. They really do love spending time with everyone. They really miss their family. It makes me happy and sad at the same time – haha. Before moving, I was worried they were too young to remember or care, so the fact that they DO care and miss their family kinda makes me happy. (Maybe not happy – maybe relieved?) It makes me sad because it’s hard to live so far away from your family – and it’s sad that their little hearts have to know what that feels like.
2) I am beginning to think that absence really does make the heart grow fonder. Lately, I’ve been wondering if the distance between my kids and their family makes time spent together that much more precious. Like do my kids make the most of it? Do they understand it’s special and, therefore, don’t take family time for granted? They are probably too young to really tell just yet, but I kinda got the sense that they do realize it’s special after Kenny’s parents’ visit in May and then again over this past week with my family.
3) My kids “count down” to family visits. I decided to take advantage of this when Grace was melting down after this recent round of goodbyes: I ran through the list of things we have to look forward to in the coming months to help her get a sense of how “soon” she’d get to see her family again. (“Soon” as in a few months – ha!) That only sorta calmed her down. So I took it one step further and said, “Hey, I have an idea. When we get home, let’s make a calendar where you can write in all the important things you have coming up, and have count downs to everything you are looking forward to – like your next visit with your family.” She slowly lifted her head out of my shoulder nook and nodded. She asked if she could draw pictures on it. Yes. She asked if she could glue pictures of her family on it. Yes. She asked if she could use any colors she wanted to. Yes. She calmed down after that. And has asked no less than 10 times when she can start her calendar – hahaha. (We’ve been home less than 48 hours and had a ton of laundry and food shopping to do! :))
I did find a cute printable calendar that I will work on with her tonight. Gavin even wants in on the action. Maybe this will bridge the void (in some small way!) between visits with family. I know a paper calendar can’t compare to real hugs from Gram and Pop, etc., but knowing just how soon that next hug is coming will (hopefully) alleviate some of the burden on their little hearts.
Aug 21, 2013 | therapy fodder
Truth: Airplane seat recliners suck. The worst travel of all travel offenders.
Worse than middle seat double-arm-rest stealer. Come on. Middle seats stink. At least allow them comfort of resting both elbows!
Worse than slam-the-tray-table-up-and-down-ninety-bajillion-times-during-a-flight gal.Thanks for sharing your Dramamine with me, sweetheart. It really helped with the motion sickness you inflicted.
Worse than sit-in-the-window-seat-and-go-to-the-bathroom-three-times-during-a-two-hour-flight guy. Seriously. I will only let this pass because I assume you couldn’t help yourself. Now you know for next time: always pack an emergency Immodium.
Worse than I-forgot-to-trim-and-clean-my-finger-nails-for-at-least-six-months-prior-to-this-flight-so-you’re-welcome-for-the-view guy. No worries, dude. Those imaginary bugs I felt crawling all over me vanished after three showers following the flight.
Worse than I-had-so-much-fun-last-night-I-am-still-hungover-guy. Trying to fool others into thinking you took a bath in Budweiser? Totally nailed it. High five!
I even venture to say that seat recliners are even worse than smelly-food-eater, pretty-sure-my-last-deodorant-application-was-never guy and forgot-to-brush-my-teeth-today guy. Don’t forget the Golden Rule. Think of others, people. Think of others.
Why worse than these? Because smelly stuff is usually contained to one area. It rarely – if ever – emanates through the whole plane for the whole flight. Seat recliners cause a forced-ripple effect of amplified uncomfortableness throughout the entire cabin as each impacted reclinee has to recline to retain a level of comfort that is on par with the recliner (and anyone else on the plane!). I mean, really, leatherette seat backs so close to your face that you can bat your eyelashes on them sucks the joy right out of life. Especially if you are in the middle seat and your seat partners aren’t sharing the armrests. 😉
However, I’ve noticed recently that many travelers have been taking one for the team and don’t recline even if reclined upon. Now, that’s a class act. Hats off, folks, hats off. Unless you’re the I-don’t-really-love-showers guy.
Aug 17, 2013 | trying to raise humans
I got a message from the mom of one of Gavin’s friends this week.
Her son and Gavin were horsing around in the back seat of the mini-van on the way to camp, and …wait for it…wait for it…you got it: Gavin lost a tooth. If you’re guessing this wasn’t a mere coincidence – that Mother Nature didn’t decide that exact moment was the perfect time for his tooth to come out, you’re right. Hahaha.
See, it was medium-loose…probably about 4 – 6 weeks from falling out on its own. (Using my non-existent dental training with that estimate there. Haha.)
She said Gavin was crying and bleeding, etc. You know, normal getting your tooth knocked out stuff. 🙂 She offered to bring Gavin home, but he said he wanted to go to camp. I knew he was fine once I heard that. She was very apologetic and felt terrible. Eh, stuff happens. I was totally fine with it.
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The story, however, takes a turn for the funny after I pick Gavin and his friend up from camp.
As soon as he spotted me waiting for him, he grinned, pointed to his mouth and gave me a thumbs up. Clearly delighted by this unexpectedly early rite of passage – phew!
When he and his friend wandered over to me, I said, “Buddy! Lost a tooth today, huh, pal? Let me see!” He grinned while his friend sheepishly said, “Well, uh, he didn’t exactly lose it… I kind of bumped it out of his mouth.” I told him it was ok and that accidents happen. I followed up with a question for Gav, “He bumped into you, bud? You’re fine, right?” To which his friend replied, “No…actually, it was a karate chop! (A karate chop? I am now dying and trying not to laugh out loud.) I meant to just get his lip, but I slipped and got his tooth.” Hahaha. Oh my. Gavin was cracking up at this point and added, “Yea, he just went like this (picture a freckle-faced red head with green eyes doing air karate chops in the general vicinity of his face).”
Oh my. A karate chop. A tooth gone.
What a tale to tell about how you lost your first tooth, right? I mean, really, this conversation is so happening over the next few weeks:
- Stranger: “Hey! Lost your first tooth, buddy! How’d it come out?”
- Gavin: “A good, old-fashioned karate chop to the mouth by my friend.” or a simple “Karate chop to the mouth.”
Gavin’s into the karate chop angle. In fact, he’s already exploiting it: he told Kenny that I knocked it out with a karate chop. Great.
At dinner that night, we asked Gavin a few more questions about what happened. He said that his friend karate chopped him, it hurt, he felt his tooth come out and was bleeding a lot. I asked if they had to pull the car over. Yep. They did. I asked if they take regular roads or the highway like I took on the way home. The highway. Oh my gosh! Now I felt bad! How scary for that mom – she had a crying, bloody Gavin in the back seat while driving on a six-lane highway and had to pull over to take care of him. Geez louise. Rough day for everyone.
Gavin’s had a few observations about the detriments of losing a tooth: 1) he can’t really eat “anything but ice cream or soft stuff”, and 2) he talks funny. I haven’t noticed that …really. That was the day it happened. However, the next day – that is, post-tooth-fairy visit, there’s been no complaints. 😉
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Before I close this one out – I actually had this thought: my kids starting to lose teeth is another ‘growing pain’ that comes along with living 3000 miles away from your family. I mean, I knew there’d be obvious changes – like my kids would grow taller, more mature, etc. in between visits with family…but I never realized that Christmas 2012 would be the last time many of our family members saw Gavin with a full set of chiclets. Hahaha! File under things I never thought about. 😉
Aug 14, 2013 | trying to raise humans
Gavin and I were in Target and he burped out loud in the aisle.
Sigh.
I told him that was impolite, especially in front of the pretty girl at the end of the aisle. (I don’t know why that matters – haha. I am trying to work some angles to raise a gentleman here, and figured I’d secretly rope this poor gal into my stellar parenting scheme of the minute. I assume that telling him it’s impolite to burp in front of me probably serves more as incentive than prohibitive, so she was the winner. I thought, at the very least, the realization of other people hearing him might give him pause? To be fair, I probably would have roped in whomever was at the end of the aisle – today it just happened to be a pretty girl.)
His reply? “I think she liked it, Mom. She’s laughing!”
Sure enough, she was smiling at the rows of mascara in front of her. I know there’s nothing amusing about picking out mascara, and since we were the only three in the aisle, I had to assume she was, in fact, laughing at his burp and my subsequent admonition. Or she was a crazy person that likes to laugh alone while shopping for mascara.
Great. Discovering that girls think you are funny at six years old is just what he needed. He giggled for a solid three minutes after that happened, and even repeated to the story to me on the car ride home: “Mom, remember when I burped and made that girl laugh?”.
Haha. I’m so losing.
Aug 13, 2013 | life around portland
I love spending time on the Oregon Coast. It’s so very different than the East Coast beaches that Kenny and I frequented in younger years. The Oregon Coast is almost always cool, the water is freezing (to my old feet; Gavin and Grace don’t seem to mind – haha.) and the terrain is very rustic. Yet, at the same time, it’s easy to re-create many of the same experiences that shape our view of ‘going down the shore’. (Except instead of saying they are going ‘down the shore’, Gavin and Grace will probably said ‘heading to the coast’. 🙂 )
Sure, in Oregon, you can’t fully submerge yourself for a swim in the ocean (if you are in your right mind!), and the Fudgie Wudgie purveyors are seemingly absent, but a day spent on the beach in Oregon can very much be like those on the Jersey shore. Each provides its own charm – and I hope our kids will get to experience the wonder of both during their childhoods.
In Oregon, walks on the beach are fantastic – there are so many tide pools to find and explore, and the quick nips of small waves running over your feet while you walk along the edge of the ocean provide just the perfect touch of the freezing water. There’s plenty of sand to mold into castles, and plenty of “treasures” – like seagull feathers and crab shells and clam shells to unearth with which to decorate said castles. And given the monoliths rising from the sea floor, mountain backdrop behind the town, and old shore homes dotting the edges of the beach leading into town, there’s a lot for your eyes (and camera!) to take in. And bonus, if you’re like me – it’s usually way too cold to rock a bathing suit – automatic win right there! Another bonus is that the beaches don’t seem to get as crowded as I remember the Jersey shore being – probably because it’s cold – haha. But, on the positive side, you have plenty of room to spread out, relax and enjoy the day with your family.
We’ve been to Cannon Beach a few times now, and we always enjoy our time there. This time, we drove a bit further into the town, parked somewhere new and camped out near Haystack Rock. Yes, the rock from the early car chase scenes in The Goonies where the Fratellis hit the beach during the getaway.
It’s awesome – especially during low tide, when you can reach it by foot and explore the rocks and tide pools and check out the birds that make their home on the rock – like seagulls, terns and puffins. (We only saw – or should I say recognized – seagulls – haha.)
Before we discovered how fun exploring tide pools is, I had never seen many of these creatures in real life. I think the closest I ever got to a starfish was seeing Peach holographed onto the tank window at the end of The Seas with Nemo and Friends ride in Disney World. She’s funnier, but actual starfish are much more interesting :).
Here are some shots from a recent trip.
