The Worst of All Travel Offenders

August 21, 2013

Truth: Airplane seat recliners suck. The worst travel of all travel offenders.

Worse than middle seat double-arm-rest stealer. Come on. Middle seats stink. At least allow them comfort of resting both elbows!

Worse than slam-the-tray-table-up-and-down-ninety-bajillion-times-during-a-flight gal.Thanks for sharing your Dramamine with me, sweetheart. It really helped with the motion sickness you inflicted. 

Worse than sit-in-the-window-seat-and-go-to-the-bathroom-three-times-during-a-two-hour-flight guy. Seriously. I will only let this pass because I assume you couldn’t help yourself. Now you know for next time: always pack an emergency Immodium.

Worse than I-forgot-to-trim-and-clean-my-finger-nails-for-at-least-six-months-prior-to-this-flight-so-you’re-welcome-for-the-view guy. No worries, dude. Those imaginary bugs I felt crawling all over me vanished after three showers following the flight. 

Worse than I-had-so-much-fun-last-night-I-am-still-hungover-guy. Trying to fool others into thinking you took a bath in Budweiser? Totally nailed it. High five!

I even venture to say that seat recliners are even worse than smelly-food-eater, pretty-sure-my-last-deodorant-application-was-never guy and forgot-to-brush-my-teeth-today guy. Don’t forget the Golden Rule. Think of others, people. Think of others.

Why worse than these? Because smelly stuff is usually contained to one area. It rarely – if ever – emanates through the whole plane for the whole flight. Seat recliners cause a forced-ripple effect  of amplified uncomfortableness throughout the entire cabin as each impacted reclinee has to recline to retain a level of comfort that is on par with the recliner (and anyone else on the plane!). I mean, really, leatherette seat backs so close to your face that you can bat your eyelashes on them sucks the joy right out of life. Especially if you are in the middle seat and your seat partners aren’t sharing the armrests. 😉

However, I’ve noticed recently that many travelers have been taking one for the team and don’t recline even if reclined upon. Now, that’s a class act. Hats off, folks, hats off. Unless you’re the I-don’t-really-love-showers guy.

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