I recently decided that I should start being a more responsible adult and doing normal adult things like going to the doctor for annual check ups. So, I asked around and found a doctor that one of my friends had a good experience with.
I scheduled my appointment.
I showed up early to do my paperwork. (Showing up early in and of itself is an accomplishment for me. I get double points because I was early for a DOCTOR appointment.)
I went into the exam room when called.
And I started answering the questions the chipper young medical assistant was hurling at me.
Most were easy – like verifying my date of birth and confirming a few details I’d jotted down on my paperwork.
Then I heard, “Are you still getting your period?”
“Still” has a heavy hand in that question, right? “Still” was the only word I’d heard. Another way to phrase what she was asking was, “Have you entered menopause?”
Ummmm, I am 38 and that may seem ancient to you, you chipper young thang, but I assure you that, Kenny willing, I could start a whole ‘nother late-in-life family if I had any inkling that this would be a good idea. Can a girl get a little bedside manner up in here?
I mean, believe me, I’m a realist. I know 38 does not a spring chicken make, but it is outside of the PRE-menopausal age range. And I know that I would be right outside ma’ mind to have another child at this point. But the point remains: There has to be a better way to ask that of women outside of the normal menopausal age range, yea? Something that doesn’t make me (or anyone like me) instantly depressed before I even hear how much I weigh and what other health issues may be plaguing this apparently ancient body? Perhaps it’s time to upgrade my anti-aging skin care regimen? Invest in a good concealer? WTH.
I got my proud on and practically shouted, “Yes – in fact, I just finished my cycle.” Smile, smile, Blink, blink.
Take that, chipper young thing. I can “still” procreate. And should I ever lose my 38-year-old mind long enough to consider another child, there’s a high probability that I will push him or her into the medical assistant field and have them look you up a few years from now and frame up that very question ever so sweetly.
(For the record, I loved the doctor and would totally recommend her. And frankly, I am just happy I left without a free sample of Depends or a coupon for Centrum Silver vitamins. This time.)