Oh, unpacking makes you look at yourself in a whole new light, let me tell you.

Today? Judging solely on the number of different spices in my pantry, I am a gourmet chef. (Granted, I am a gourmet chef who does not have access to American Cheese, but some would argue that that little roadblock right there makes me gourmet all on its own. Haha.)

I have no less than 64 jars of powder, flakes, flecks, twigs, leaves, and seeds that I can sprinkle into food concoctions of my choice. The most bizarre? Coleman’s mustard. Thanks for that little gem, Nigella Lawson. I used it a solid ONE time to make this dish. We actually liked it, so I am not sure why I never made it again. Oh right. Because I barely cook anymore. I’ll have to get on that. Because 64 jars taking up space in my pantry is a lot. Brace your palates, family. Brace them.

Ok, ok. We all know that’s an empty threat. Just grab a trash bag in three weeks for when I grow sick of shuffling 61 jars to find the salt, pepper and garlic powder.