This is How My Day Started…

December 18, 2012

I headed out to Walgreen’s this morning to grab a few things, including a box of Christmas cards.

I walked into the store and was greeted by a gal with, “Good morning, can I help you find anything?”

I said, “Hi, yes – can you point me to boxed Christmas cards?” I usually never ask for help navigating stores, but I’m under the weather and needed to get back home to rest before hopping on a call for work.

Without a flinch, she replied, “Christmas, what?”

I said, “Boxed Christmas cards.”

She raised her eyebrow, “What? Christmas what?”

She was a little sassy, and I wasn’t feeling great and that’s not a great combination for me to share niceties. I deliberately spat out, “Boxed. Christmas. Cards. Like cards you send to people to wish them a Merry Christmas?” At this point, I am thinking between my stuffy nose and Philadelphia twang, I must be incomprehensible to this Portlandian. Why does she not know what I am saying? Doesn’t Walgreen’s bill itself as a veritable holiday wonderland that would spare me from running to 12 different stores to get what I need to have the jolliest of holidays?

She said, “We don’t carry those. But you can probably find them at Walgreen’s.”

Crap. I’m not IN WALGREEN’S?

I said, “Wait – this isn’t Walgreen’s?” and laughed.

“Nope, this is Ace Hardware – out the door and take a hard right for Walgreen’s.”

Ah. I now see why she had no idea what the heck I was asking for. I am probably the only person that ever asked for boxed Christmas cards in Ace Hardware. Ever. In the history of Ace Hardware.

Son of a biscuit.

I apologized and left.

I fully expect she tweeted or status’d that this dumb lady came into Ace Hardware looking for Christmas cards today. So if that pops up into your feeds, you can think – hey! I know the lady that did that. Hahaha.

As for me, I went back to the couch and checked Ace Hardware off the list of places in Portland where I will ever show my face again.

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