Walt Disney World squirrels are the new South Jersey Shore seagulls.
Before last week, I never noticed squirrels in Walt Disney World, never mind noticing their snack-stealing behavior. Let’s just say there are squirrels and they are Hungry.
We were at Blizzard Beach one day and I noticed a squirrel sitting in someone’s stroller eating food. I was tempted to go a little Portland on him – that is, make him my pet and push him around the park in the baby stroller, potentially with a set of squirrel-sized Mouse Ears. (If they make them that size. Which I imagine they do because Disney merchandise is prolific enough that pet-sized Mouse Ears don’t seem out of the question.)
I mentioned it to my brother. He shrugged it off. So did I. Until I went back to our spot and caught a squirrel sneaking up behind me as I ate a Kind bar. Hmmm. I jumped up and clapped like a fool (or did some other foolish trying-to-scare-the-animals-away human behavior) in an attempt to scare him off. To say he was bored with my attempts to shoo him away is pretty much the understatement of the year. He was more like defiant and kept approaching me.
Ewwwwwwww! I like animals and all, but sharing a Kind bar with a defiant squirrel is a bit over the top. I got up and walked away, but turned back to see what Defiant McSquirrelpants did.
You know what that little sucker did? Hopped up on Kenny’s backpack as if he KNEW that’s where the Kind bar came from. Oh no. The Philadelphian in me was NOT having any of that. Disgusting. I lifted and banged a lounge chair a few times. That seemed enough to startle him and he skipped off. Yes, skipped. I told you, he was defiant. And I imagine a defiant squirrel skips off vs. skitters off to make sure you know he CHOSE to leave vs. YOU scaring him off. (BTW – important distinction here – I think the Portlander in me probably should have hand-fed the squirrel tiny bits of organic kale chips, while stroking his fluffy tail and applying Neosporin to the sores on the side of his face.) (Omg. Ew. I am still mostly Philadelphian. Hahaha.)
I grabbed the backpack and put it on, then walked to the edge of the kiddie pool. I couldn’t get away from that thing fast enough. I was kinda freaked out by how aggressive he seemed. My brother teased me for being a dork who wears their backpack around the water park. I told him about the squirrel. He laughed and teased me more. Man, I miss hanging out with my brothers – haha. Do they EVER stop teasing? We’re in our thirties, so seemingly not. I’m gonna chalk that one up as a loss.
About 10 minutes later, I went back to drop my backpack. I was sure Defiant McSquirrelpants had moved on down the road to people that had accessible food. I was right. He wasn’t there. BUT – he left remnants of his sneaky snack attack visit to my nephew’s stroller. Yep, he came back and ate a bag of Utz Phineas and Ferb pretzels and some leftover chicken nuggets. See? I told you he was defiant. And, apparently, determined. Ewwww.
We didn’t see him for the rest of the day.
However – there’s always a however, isn’t there? – we met one of his buddies later in the week at Epcot. This time we were happily skipping out of Journey into Imagination back to our strollers. (Ok, that really didn’t happen. No one skipped.) My sister-in-law and I were ahead of the pack. She suddenly yelled, “Dennis! DENNNNNNIS! There’s a squirrel!” I looked. Indeed, there was a squirrel. Sitting in the storage area under my nephew’s stroller. Holding goldfish crackers, which he was serving himself from the snack cup. He was unfazed by our presence and sat there eating away.
Instead of shooing him away, Dennis grabbed his iPhone and started snapping pics. I already had my camera ready. Please. This whole scene was screaming blog material. As soon as Kerri started the word “squirrel”, I reached for the camera. Hahaha. I am pretty sure this little guy was posing. He knew the tens of readers of this blog could potentially make him famous. LOL.
After the photoshoot, Dennis shook the stroller. Normal scare tactics like simply looming over him, yelling and clapping / making loud noises did nothing. (Definitely friends with – or related to – Defiant McSquirrelpants.) The squirrel hopped out and ran.
But only about two steps away. Then – I guess he decided that goldfish were simply too delish to pass up – he turned and hopped back into the storage area under the stroller! WHAT?! Kerri screamed. Which caused Colin to scream, and Grace to proclaim that she only likes puppies and ponies, not squirrels. (Hahaha!)
Dennis shook the coach and he ran away. For good.
Moral of the story? Parents, don’t leave unattended food in your strollers. It will get eaten. I think I am more grossed out by the fact that if you don’t see it happen, you may not even know a squirrel was in your baby’s stroller. Like literally just sitting there, hanging out, chillaxing with some snack crackers. He leaves, probably with nary a trace, and you pop little Johnny in there for a nap. Ew. Ew. Ew.