So, uh, we have this landscaping surrounding our house and no idea what to do with it. Really.

It started out tame enough … you know, some trees, grass, pretty bushes. We also saw that we had a fig tree and two apple trees. But, as the Spring marches on, the gardens have grown. Massively. And I mean massively. It seems everyday there is something new popping up. And we can’t always tell what’s a weed and what’s a plant. Not good.

A few of our neighbors mentioned that the previous owners made an investment in their landscaping last season – and hired a weekly gardener to come out and tend to it. The Clarks? Yea, we didn’t do that. We didn’t even know you COULD do such a thing, and really, that with landscaping like ours that we SHOULD do such a thing. It’s times like these that I realize I am basically still 13 with no business calling myself an adult. So naive.

In Jenkintown, we had some grass, many hostas, an azalea bush and a hydrangea. And we did the bare minimum to keep that stuff neat. Granted, every summer, I planted a tomato plant in a container, but I think in seven years, we ate maybe two tomatoes that I grew. (Read: I basically planted tomatoes to feed the neighborhood squirrels.)

So now, here we are today with an overgrown (but still beautiful) garden and these two city kids have no idea how to care for it. Aha! I remembered seeing a letter in the mail from a landscaper offering to come out and do a ‘spring clean up’. I called them. They came out and looked at our landscaping and irrigation system (irrigation system!!! hahahaha!). And quipped that someone spent a pretty penny pulling this all together. Nothing standard. Everything requires ‘hand maintenance’. They estimated that it would cost about a thousand dollars to clean it up and then $300 per month to maintain it.

(Back in your chair now after nearly fainting like I did? Good. Because it gets better.)

There are two vegetable beds that I put some stuff in – more on that later. (I figured I shouldn’t let them go to waste.) In addition to the veggies I planted, it turns out that we have some fruit growing. Some which we knew about (fruit trees), some we did not. You ready?

  • We have a fig tree. I have never tasted a fig, but we have had Fig Newtons. They are pretty good, so by that reasoning, the actual fruit should be pretty tasty, right? We’ll see in the Fall.
  • We have two apple trees.
  • We have four blueberry plants (surprise!) I just thought they were cute little white flowers. Apparently they are cute little white flowers that grow into blueberries.
  • We have a whole bed of strawberries (surprise!). This is on top of the two strawberry plants I put in the veggie garden. Dear heavens. I hope they taste good.
  • Finally, we have grapes (surprise!). Yes, grapes. “Eating grapes”, the landscaper clarified. I guess the look of horror on my face that I had a grape vine growing across my pergola conveyed that I thought I had to turn them into wine after harvest. Growing eating grapes is much better, right? Not really. I am scared.

We also have wisteria and honeysuckle complementing the grapes. Ha! Hahahaha! Oh my. I need a weekend job at Target to cover my landscaping costs.




4 Replies to “Danger! City Girl with a Garden

  1. Sounds dauntingly delicious! Good luck! Fresh figs are delicious, weird but really good! My coworker would bring them in and leave several on my desk at a time! I like ’em better than the Newton cookie!

  2. I am jealous! And, yes, figs are great — think giant Fig Newtons minus the cookie (“it’s not a cookie, it’s a newton!”).

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